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MEND Online Forums
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Amy Curtis
Member
Posts: 7
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| 07/09/2008 1:23 PM |
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In 2001, I was blessed to have a sweet baby girl born happy and healthy. However, after that, I just couldn't seem to get pregnant again. In May 2006, my husband and I had been trying for 3 years to get pregnant. With the help of fertility medicine, I got pregnant. After 7 weeks, I found out I was miscarrying. Besides the horror of expelling the embryo from my body, the emotional trauma was even worse.
July 8, 2008 marked the 2 year anniversary of my miscarriage. Although it's gotten a bit easier with time, it's still so hard to cope with at times.
I had to stop taking the fertility medicine because of the side effects (headaches, nausea, etc). I still have yet to conceive, and I honestly don't think I will ever again.
The hardest part is when other people (who have never experienced miscarriage) try to give me advice on how to get pregnant.
I feel sad for not being able to have another child, but at the same time, I feel guilty for not being satisfied with the healthy child I do have.
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Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 256
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| 07/09/2008 4:23 PM |
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Amy,
You are not selfish and should not feel guilty. It is natural to want to give your daughter a sibling. I am sorry for your loss and inability to conceive. It is very frustrating.
Are you against adoption?
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Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
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Amy Curtis
Member
Posts: 7
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| 07/10/2008 5:29 AM |
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I wouldn't say I'm against adoption. At this point, I'm not even sure I want to have another baby. Some days I do, and some days I don't.
Sometimes, I just feel like if God meant for me to have another baby that I would. Since that hasn't happened, maybe I'm just not meant to have another one. |
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Trinh Ho
Member
Posts: 8
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| 07/10/2008 11:20 AM |
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Amy,
I am so sorry for your dear loss and your frustration. I know how hard it is wanting a child and not being able to have one. I just recently lost my child at almost 32 weeks. He was all formed and unfortunately he died before being born and 3-4 days before I discovered it. I am in pain and everyone has been telling me that it was meant to be. Perhaps it is. I don't have any real answers, but I want to reply to let you know that you are not alone and you are not selfish.You are actually selfless. You are thinking of your daughter and that is why you want to have another child. You want your daughter to have a sibling and to have someone to turn to. I know that is why my husband and I decided to conceive. Now we are in fear of trying ever again. The feeling of wanting to conceive again is truly there, but fear is making us confused. We fear of having to experiece such event again. I think you may be feeling the same way. It's not the matter of wanting another child or not, but it's the fear of not being able to that makes us feel so confused.
I wish you the best of luck.
My parayers are with you and your babies.
Trinh Ho |
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Trinh Ho
Member
Posts: 8
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| 07/10/2008 11:20 AM |
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Amy,
I am so sorry for your dear loss and your frustration. I know how hard it is wanting a child and not being able to have one. I just recently lost my child at almost 32 weeks. He was all formed and unfortunately he died before being born and 3-4 days before I discovered it. I am in pain and everyone has been telling me that it was meant to be. Perhaps it is. I don't have any real answers, but I want to reply to let you know that you are not alone and you are not selfish.You are actually selfless. You are thinking of your daughter and that is why you want to have another child. You want your daughter to have a sibling and to have someone to turn to. I know that is why my husband and I decided to conceive. Now we are in fear of trying ever again. The feeling of wanting to conceive again is truly there, but fear is making us confused. We fear of having to experiece such event again. I think you may be feeling the same way. It's not the matter of wanting another child or not, but it's the fear of not being able to that makes us feel so confused.
I wish you the best of luck.
My parayers are with you and your babies.
Trinh Ho |
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Amy Curtis
Member
Posts: 7
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| 07/10/2008 11:26 AM |
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Sharon & Trinh Ho,
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I'm so sorry for your losses as well. It's so hard to describe how you feel to friends who don't understand what you're going through. Everyone here knows what it's like, and I'm so glad I found this website! |
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Jessica Davis
Major Participant
Posts: 42
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| 07/18/2008 9:14 AM |
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I'm glad you found this website too. It is really helpful talking to people who have gone through this too. I have a lot of girlfriends who act like my miscarriage was like having a period, no big deal. That was really hard to deal with and then now when i do get my period they don't really understand why I am sad. They are just at the same place that I am in their life. They are not even looking to have kids yet. I didn't really feel like anyone understood me until I came to this website. So I am glad that you came here too.
-Jessica |
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