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MEND Online Forums
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Kelly Godinez
Regular Participant
Posts: 13
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| 08/24/2007 9:26 AM |
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Hi,
My name is Kelly and I am 33 years old. I recently lost my son Serafin on 8/3/07. I am sad that there are so many who are going through the same pain as my family.
In October 2006 I found out I was pregnant with our second child and we were very excited because we had been trying for three yeats to have another baby (we have a daughter who is five). My pregnancy went very well and I was told there were no problems. On June 17th my water broke around ten days early but the doctors told me not to worry. I did not have any contractions, so I was given medicine to get things moving. As the contractions grew stronger my baby's heart rate began to drop. I was told our son could not handle labor and I would need to have an emergency c-section to save his life. I immediately agreed to this and I was taken to surgery. When they first pulled Serafin from my tummy there was silence. I could not hear any crying or the doctors saying anything. A few seconds later I heard them slapping his feet over and over until there was a cry. I remember feeling so releaved until they rushed the baby out of the room without letting me see him. The doctor did not say anything to me until she finished my stitches. She told me that she felt she should be honest and that our baby appeared to have a condition called trisomy 13 or 18 and he would not live very long. I was told to baptize him right away and that nothing could be done. My husband is in the military, so they called the "on call" priest and our son Serafin Jesus was born and baptized on 6/18/07. The baby and I were then ambulanced to a navy hospital because the hospital I was at could not handle a trisomy baby. We spent the next few weeks in the NICU and finally on 7/4/07 we went home on hospice. Although we cherished everyday we had with our son it became very difficult to watch him progress due to his condition. His breathing became more difficult, and he could not tolerate his "feeds" even though he was on a feeding tube. On 8/3/07 around 6:00 in the morning he went to heaven.
I pray everyday but the pain does not go away. My heart is broken and I feel alone. My husband will not talk about our son at all and changes the subject if I try to talk about him. My son's bassinet is still in our living room and I do not have the emotional strength to move it and I don't want anyone else to touch it either.
I am sorry if this is too long. It is one of those roller coaster days.
Thank you,
Kelly
Mommy to Serafin 6/18/07 - 8/3/07 |
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Melissa Stephens
MEND Moderator
Recognized Participant
Posts: 153
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| 08/26/2007 11:26 AM |
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Kelly, I am so very sorry to hear about your little Serafin. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I hope you will find some of the support you need here.
Did Serafin have Trisomy 13 or 18? I have friends expecting a baby with Trisomy 18 and I don't know much about the difference.
I hope your husband will come around and reach a point where he can talk with you about Serafin. How is your daughter doing? |
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Melissa
wife to Rob
mommy to:
David, my 1st angel in heaven - born still October 23, 2003
C.J., my angel on earth - Sept. 29, 2005
Baby Stephens, my 2nd angel in heaven - June 30, 2008
Stanley, my fur-baby - miniature schnauzer, 4 years old |
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Kelly Godinez
Regular Participant
Posts: 13
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| 08/26/2007 3:47 PM |
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Hello Melissa,
I am sorry about your son David, and that I am meeting you this way. Serafin had full trisomy 18. Trisomy 21 is down syndrome,18 is more severe, and 13 has the most abnormalities. 13 and 18 are very similar except that 13 is a little worse. I never thought I would wish for down syndrome, but I remember thinking at least my little Serafin would have lived. I have been told by the doctors that 90% of children with 13 or 18 pass away before they are born, so we were lucky to have him as long as we did (the other 10% usually die within the first year). In these conditions the child either has an extra 13 or 18 chromosme depending on which condition they have. If your child has " full trisomy" then it happened as a "fluke" and there is only a 1% chance it could ever happen again. If the trisomy is "mosaic" then one or both of the parents are carriers and could possibly have another child with genetic abnormalities (so I have been told by the genetic counselor).
I had never heard of this condition until Serafin was born, and I was surprised to find websites dedicated just this condition. I am very sorry that your friends are facing this, and I will pray for them. I hate that someone else is going through the heartbreak of losing a child.
Please take care,
Kelly |
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Ulizabeth Walker
Regular Participant
Posts: 11
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| 08/26/2007 7:06 PM |
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Kelly,
Please know I am praying for you. The pain is hard to deal with but, continue --never stop--asking God for strength. I will pray for your husband to come around--he willl, men greive differently. I am so sorry baby Serafin had to leave this world but, I rejoice in the fact that our babies our together in heaven with the Almighty Father.
Liz Walker
Alivia Elizabeth Grace Walker
7-24-06
Incompetent Cervix |
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Kelly Godinez
Regular Participant
Posts: 13
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| 08/26/2007 7:18 PM |
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Thank you Liz. I am sorry about your daughter Alivia,and that we are meeting this way. (Alivia is a beautiful name.) My family appreciates your prayers, and I will pray for as well.
Please take care,
Kelly
Mommy to Serafin 6/18/07 - 8/3/07
Estrella 4/5/02 - my angel on earth |
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Melissa Stephens
MEND Moderator
Recognized Participant
Posts: 153
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| 08/26/2007 9:50 PM |
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Kelly, thanks for the info. I learned some about the different trisomies when I was pregnant with David because we had reason to believe he might have a genetic defect. It turned out that he didn't, but we had been told he could have a trisomy. I found myself feeling the same as you - hoping and praying for Downs Syndrome instead of 18 or 13. Then, we were blessed with a genetically perfect baby who died anyway. It was a confusing time. Anyway, I didn't know the part about a full trisomy vs. a mosaic. That's good info to have. How do you find out which one your baby has? Is there any way to know before they are born?
I spoke with my friend a couple of days ago and she and her family have picked a plot for their son to be buried. I was actually really pleased because I had been wanting to talk to her about that, but didn't know how to bring it up. We have David buried in the most beautiful cemetery and I wanted them to know about it. We were also really happy with the funeral home we worked with (though I guess happy isn't the right word). Well, it turns out that they are using the same funeral home and their son will be buried in the same cemetery, right near my little David. I never even said a word about it, so I definitely believe God was in the making of those decisions. I know having him buried in such a beautiful place by such loving people will help to bring them comfort.
OK, time for bed. I'm on a liquid diet until my surgery (doctor's orders) and today was the last day I could have anything cream-based. Tomorrow, I'm down to jell-o and broth. So I stayed up late to stuff myself full of Cream of Chicken Soup. |
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Melissa
wife to Rob
mommy to:
David, my 1st angel in heaven - born still October 23, 2003
C.J., my angel on earth - Sept. 29, 2005
Baby Stephens, my 2nd angel in heaven - June 30, 2008
Stanley, my fur-baby - miniature schnauzer, 4 years old |
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Kelly Godinez
Regular Participant
Posts: 13
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| 08/27/2007 10:41 AM |
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Hi Melissa,
When you are pregnant they will do a "quad" screening which is not always accurate and has alot of false positives. I did not have this done because I worry alot and I didn't want to be stressed out my whole pregnancy if there was a chance nothing could be wrong. My doctor agreed with my thinking and did not push the issue. Now I know to get the test regardless. It takes a few days to get the initial results and two weeks to confirm which trisomy it is. (This is done through a regular blood draw.) A genetic counselor also advised abnormalities should be picked up in the 23 wk ultrasound, but unfortunately someone dropped the ball in my care (there were obvious issues a tech should have seen). There are also some additional tests, both of which involve puncturing the amniotic sac.
On the trisomy full vs mosaic. The mosaic can have some normal chromosomes and some that have the extra chromosome (13, 18, 21). Also there is a trisomy that involves the translocation of a chromosome in which (13, 18, 21) randomly attach to any chromosome rather than just attaching to 13, 18, or 21.
I hope this is not too much information.
I hope everything goes well tomorrow.
Please take care,
Kelly
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