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MEND Online Forums
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Catherine Eugene
Member
Posts: 2
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| 09/16/2008 3:24 PM |
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I lost my baby girl Tynecia on the 8th September, 2008 just 2hrs after delivering her via c-section because of a genetic disorder which was undectable during pregnancy.
I felt so lost leaving the hospital with empty arms and a empty womb. How could this happen, I was full term, everything was good... it seems so unfair!
My family says I am young I can have another baby, but I can never have her. When I got home everything I had for her was gone; they taught they would spare me the pain but instead it all feels surreal as if it were a dream.
I dont know what to do, how can I continue? |
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Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 217
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| 09/16/2008 3:36 PM |
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Catherine,
I felt the same way when I came home from the hospital. I thought I was going crazy sometimes. I thought people might think I had faked the entire pregnancy and then I wondered if I was ever really pregnant.
I am so sorry that you lost Tynecia. It is unfair and nothing anybody can say will make it better or make sense.
I just encourage you to keep sharing your feelings either on this forum, to a trusted friend, or in a journal. The worst thing you can do it keep it bottled up. Please know that any emotion you feel is normal. Anger, sadness, bitterness, denial.
Again, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you daily. I promise you that you will keep going but you will never forget.
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Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
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Catherine Eugene
Member
Posts: 2
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| 09/16/2008 4:14 PM |
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| Thank you, sharon |
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LaDundriette McCain
Major Participant
Posts: 49
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| 09/16/2008 7:17 PM |
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Hello, Catherine.
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I'll say a prayer for you.
As Sharon said, please don't keep things bottled up. I lost my baby in my 7th week of pregnancy on December 17th, 2007, and I'm just now talking about it. No one knew my suffering, and it truly made me sick. I was having heart palpitations, high blood pressure, losing sleep, suffering depression, etc, and I never allowed myself to admit that I was hurting so badly over my baby.
Please continue to talk to us or to anyone who will listen and offer positive support, or who will just listen. Sometimes it's best for people not to say anything as their well-meaning words can hurt us. Sometimes a gentle nod of the head can be consoling.
I've only joined the forum a day ago, but I feel that the support system here is a really good one.
I've been told that I can only heal on my own time. I agree and I hope you'll do the same.
Take care. |
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LM
Mommy to one angel in Heaven - -
Kai Angel (m/c at seven and half weeks...grew wings on December 17, 2007)
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Stephanie Fritts
Member
Posts: 9
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| 09/17/2008 2:34 PM |
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter Tynecia. I think it helps to have a small token that was hers (a small bear) that you keep out on your dresser, or beside your bed. Some peole may think that this only upsets you each time you see it. It may do that for a while, but at the same time, it's a reassuring sign that the child is real and it will allow you to deal with your feelings.
Praying for you.... |
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Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 217
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| 09/17/2008 3:56 PM |
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I completely agree Stephanie. I keep pictures and mementos from my first pregnancy out all the time. They are in a glass china cabinet in my living room for anyone to see. It makes me remember him each time I look at it, but it is also a memorial in his honor.
He was real just like all of our children. I want any future siblings to know about their older brother and not be afraid to ask questions. He will always be a member of our family. |
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Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
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Dawn McNeese
Member
Posts: 2
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| 09/18/2008 9:48 PM |
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. I also feel that is just a dream sometimes. Like you haven't even gotten pregnant yet, none of it ever happened. But then I go into my little girl's room and look at her photo and all the mementos the hospital gave us. I find it very helpful to have those things. We keep photos in her bed and even "tuck" her in at night. My husband, son, and I all kiss her photo goodnight. We touch and hold her homecoming outfit, look at the lock of hair, footprints, and hospital bands. It all seems to help us. We know it happened and there's proof. I even sleep with the blanket she laid on while they took her pictures. I know it's not the same as holding her, but it helps to know she once laid on it.
So if you need those things to heal then get them out. Hold them close to your heart and just remember her. It does help.
Dawn
mommy to
Owen 6-26-07
Abigail ~ born sleeping 8-6-08 |
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Karin Knapp
Recognized Participant
Posts: 111
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| 09/21/2008 7:34 PM |
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Catherine, I am so truly sorry your lost your little daughter Tynecia. I know how devastating it is and sometimes we wonder how we can keep going. Please know that is all normal. Grief opens up emotions we never knew even existed - and we sure still wish we were ignorant. Leaving the arms with empty arms is so painful. I still remember that moment vividly. It isn't right. We are supposed to see our children grow up and hold them and love them.
I do hope you will find the support here that you so need. We all need it and I have definitely found this site helpful. Journaling has also been helpful for me. But even now 6 months later there are definitely times when things get really hard when you are faced with milestones and trigger points.
I pray that the Lord will comfort you and strengthen you. We are here for you.
In His love,
Karin |
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Karin Knapp
Recognized Participant
Posts: 111
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| 09/21/2008 7:35 PM |
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| I meant leaving the hospital with empty arms... Sorry. |
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