My Loss.... > MEND Online Forums

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Overview

The MEND Online Forums provide community support specific to infertility following loss. You have the freedom to interact and communicate with others. Forums are moderated and participants are asked to please be sensitive to keep on topic where needs are presented.

Online Guests

	Membership:
	Latest: Debbe R
	New Today: 1
	New Yesterday: 1
	Overall: 419

Registration

Welcome to the MEND Online Support Forums for infertility following loss. You do not have to register to view forum and message board postings. However, if you would like to participate and interact by posting topics and replying to topics, you must register. Registration and use of the forums does not cost anything. If you are already registered, please click here to login. If you have not registered previously, please click here to register.

MEND Online Forums

Unanswered

Active Topics

Forums

Forums > Introduce Yourself > Introductions

Subject: My Loss....

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Author

Messages

Andrea Jordan
Member

Member
Posts: 1

12/16/2007 2:15 AM	Alert
My name is Andrea and this is my story... On Wednesday the 12th of December 2007 I went for my 19 week ultrasound as I was 4.5 months pregnant with our much anticipated fourth bubba...This day we were going to find out the gender our baby was...So with a happy heart bursting with excitment my good friend Charlene and I went along to my appointment...half an hour later my whole world was shattered... I was told my beautiful baby did not have a heart beat....I booked into Nepean Hospital and another ultrasound was scheduled for the next day just to confirm the results of the first.... All that night I wished and prayed for a miracle...for my body to some how heal my unborn child... Somehow it was all a big mistake...that the results of the ultrasound were wrong...For my baby to be rolling around and kicking...alive...but that was not to be... On the morning of the 13th the results were confirmed...baby had passed away at 18 weeks...My whole world fell apart....as it began to sink in...My baby had died... The day passed on a rollercoaster of emotions...It was explained to me that I would be induced and give birth to my bubba naturally...so that afternoon...I was induced...Fully knowing the outcome of the experince was probably the most scariest part...But still I had hope.... At 5.45am 14th of December 2007 I gave birth to our beautiful...precious...sweet baby boy...perfect in everyway...I sobbed and sobbed my heart out...giving birth to my baby had ended my hope...that it was all real...I wasn't dreaming... KAITIAKI CHERRINGTON is our sons name... A NAME OF MANA...A STRONG NAME...KAITIAKI...OUR GUARDIAN...OUR SON... Even at 18 weeks he looked just like his Daddy and big Brother...handsome and he had the classic CHERRINGTON nose that all my kids have... MY BEAUTIFUL SON...MUMMY LOVES YOU AND MY HEART IS BROKEN WHEN IT WILL HEAL I DON'T KNOW...I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL THE SHORT TIME YOU HAD WITH US YOU WERE TREASUED AND LOVED...YOU ARE OUR SON AND MUMMY AND DADDY WILL THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY...I TREASURE THE EXPERIENCE OF CARRYING YOU SEEING YOUR HEART BEATING AT THE FIRST ULTRASOUND...YOUR LITTLE BUTTERFLY MOVEMENTS LETTING ME KNOW YOU WERE THERE...I TREASURE GIVING BIRTH TO YOU MY SON..THE PAIN OF THE CONTRACTIONS WEREN'T PAINFUL PHYSICALLY MY SON MUMMY WASN'T CRYING BECAUSE YOU HURT ME...BUT BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU VERY SHORTLY...WITH YOU IN MY TUMMY WE WERE TOGETHER AS MOTHER AND BABY SHOULD BE...GIVING BIRTH TO YOU MEANT I HAD TO LET YOU GO...I FEEL BLESSED THAT YOU WERE APART OF ME AND YOUR DADDY...I KNOW YOUR CALLING IS GREATER AND YOU WILL WATCH OVER...ME YOUR DADDY, SISTERS AND BIG BROTHER...YOU ARE FOREVER APART OF US MY SON AND YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN EVER...KAITIAKI...MY SON...GUIDE ME MY SON...HELP MUMMYS HEART TO HEAL...I MISS YOU MY BOY...MUMMY WHISPERS YOUR NAME TO KEEP YOUR MEMORY REAL...KAITIAKI MY PRECIOUS BOY...MUMMYS TEARS FLOW FREQUENTLY...BECAUSE YOU WERE A BIG PART OF OUR FUTURE...I WANT TO CUDDLE YOU ONCE AGAIN...I WANT TO KISS YOUR PERFECT LITTLE FACE AGAIN... I WILL NEVER BE ABLE HEAR YOU CRY...I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONSOLE YOU...I WLL NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO KISS YOUR FAT CHUBBY LEGS...I WILL NEVER HEAR YOU SAY MY NAME...MUMMY...MY SON THERE IS ALOT I WILL NEVER GET TO EXPERIENCE WITH YOU...BUT I HAVE THE MEMORY OF GIVING YOU LIFE..CARRYING YOU...KNOWING YOU WERE MINE. KAITIAKI...MY BABY BOY...THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE WAS LEAVE THE HOSPITAL TODAY WITHOUT YOU...I AM SO SORRY MY BABY...MUMMY AND DADDY WILL BE THERE TO PICK UP YOUR ASHES...AND YOU WILL COME HOME TO US...THEN NEXT YEAR WE WILL TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR WHENUA... YOUR TURANGAWAEWAE...MOTATAU...WHERE YOU BELONG...AND WE WILL LAY YOU TO REST NEXT TO YOUR PAPA...PAPA WILL LOOK AFTER YOU MY BOY MY BEAUTIFUL PRECIOUS,PRECIOUS SON ALWAYS KNOW WE ARE HERE... IF YOU NEED TO COME TO MUMMY YOU COME SON...I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU... MY BOY...MY SON...MY HONEY SON MY BABY BOY...REST IN PEACE...THIS WORLD IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU... YOUR DESTINY IS FAR GREATER....SOMEDAY WE WILL BE REUNTIED...AND MUMMY WILL KISS AND CUDDLE YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN FOREVER...AND NEVER LET YOU GO KA KITE ANO FOR NOW MY SON...WE WILL MEET AGAIN LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS...MY SON...KAITIAKI...MY GUARDIAN LOVE MUMMY X X X PS...I am of Maori decent from New Zealand...KAITIAKI means guardian...x

Melissa Stephens
MEND Moderator

Recognized Participant
Posts: 153

12/16/2007 1:11 PM	Alert
Andrea, I am so so sorry for what you are going through. I know the pain you are feeling and it just seems unbearable at the time. You may want to post your message on our guest book area, also, as it gets more readers.

Melissa wife to Rob mommy to: David, my 1st angel in heaven - born still October 23, 2003 C.J., my angel on earth - Sept. 29, 2005 Baby Stephens, my 2nd angel in heaven - June 30, 2008 Stanley, my fur-baby - miniature schnauzer, 4 years old

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Forums > Introduce Yourself > Introductions > My Loss....

ActiveForums 3.6

The MEND Site Map is a published outline of all content on this web site.

Please review the MEND Reprint Policy and Disclaimer.

This site was last updated November 20th, 2009.