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MEND Online Forums
Subject: Really Tough Time

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Author Messages
Michelle Kornas
Member
Member
Posts: 1


01/04/2008 10:15 AM Alert 
I am having a very difficult time with this.
I was told for many years that I could not get pregnant. I found out Dec. 6th that they were wrong.
I was so excited. I was so happy. I started planning my life for my child.
Cramping and bleeding started Dec. 20th and my doc ordered an U/S. They found a heartbeat and sent me home with some progesterone.
The day after Christmas there was no longer a heart beat and I miscarried on Jan. 1st.
I really did not think I would take it this hard.
The baby died at 7 weeks. Only 7 weeks and I think I am being silly.....other people have lost so much more, been further along, lost more. But I cannot stop crying.
The only thing I want right now is to get pregnant again. I guess that is normal but I cannot get the thought out of my head. My boyfriend.....was excited when I was pregnant but now he wants to wait until we are married, better off finacially. Maybe he is right but I am having a real hard time with this.
I feel like my heart is broken
Nothing I used to enjoy is worth doing right now.
I dont leave the house much. I try but I am just so sad. He listens to me but does not have much to say. I know he is sad too but talking to him does not seem to help me.
I just keep thinking what am I supposed to do now.
I am 30 years old and I was told I could not have kids. I felt like being pregnant was my miracle. My gift from God. and what now? what am I supposed to think now?

I just wanted to vent to those of you who I know will understand.
Thank you.
Michelle
Terri Szymanski
Member
Member
Posts: 8


01/06/2008 10:06 AM Alert 
Michelle, my thoughts with you. Hopefully you will find comfort here on this site. We all have gone through the similar experiences. I too was originally told I would never have kids that was at the age of 22 -- I am now 32 and still trying. I have had 2 miscarriages. One at 9 weeks, and other at 4 so please if you need anything contact me. Terri.
Melissa Stephens
MEND Moderator
Recognized Participant
Recognized Participant
Posts: 153


01/08/2008 5:55 PM Alert 
Michelle, please don't feel like your grief is not warranted b/c this was an early loss. A loss at any time during pregnancy is devastating and you have every reason and right to grieve the baby you have lost. Don't try to tell yourself that you're being silly because you are not. You have experienced the loss of your baby, and that is terribly painful. I hope you will find the support you need here.

Melissa
wife to Rob
mommy to:
David, my 1st angel in heaven - born still October 23, 2003
C.J., my angel on earth - Sept. 29, 2005
Baby Stephens, my 2nd angel in heaven - June 30, 2008
Stanley, my fur-baby - miniature schnauzer, 4 years old
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