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MEND Online Forums
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M E
Member
Posts: 1
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| 01/18/2008 10:45 AM |
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Hello! I am 36 y/o.We have been married for eight years, I had a tubal reversal in July of 2006, June of 2007 became pregnant, during pregnancy I was sick but my baby was healthy then came Nov,4 2007; My life became a nightmare ( I wish it was just a dream); but 20 weeks later I gave birth to my son babe, 9oz he died in my arms, because I went into labor still no idea why!!!!!!!!!!! I thought I was ok and fine I know God lets things happen for a reason,I don't understand!!! I want my son and it hurts like hell! I need him, I miss him, I try to act like nothing is wrong and I smile and laugh like my usual self but inside I feel like screaming at the whole world. I don't understand when people I know talk about Abortions I get angry. I have always been pro life unemotional and a very logical person,and I never judged those that were pro-choice,But now I get really angry. I don't know how to get past the anger.
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Raquel B
Member
Posts: 1
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| 01/18/2008 9:26 PM |
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Sweetheart,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the devastation of carrying and giving birth to your son and then losing him moments later. It almost seems like, "Why was I even pregnant if it was only to have him pass away in my arms!?"
You are certainly justified in your anger toward the entire occurrence. It's OKAY to be angry. It's a natural human emotion and it's okay.
I like to think that even though your precious baby died in your arms, his brief life was certainly NOT in vain. My understanding is that at the moment of conception your baby had life! And this means that no matter how brief his stay on Earth was, his little spirit lives and you will see him again one day.
I think in order to work through your anger, you have to look at things differently. Try not to see everything as a total loss (as difficult as that may be). It is never easy to work through something like this. It takes time and effort.
If you read the Bible, find scriptures that are uplifting and repeat them to yourself, daily. You'd be surprised...tell yourself something often enough and you'll start to live it. Try to understand that you gave him LIFE! If it weren't for you, he never would have existed...period! He still has life, just not here with us right now.
As far as anger toward people who discuss abortion (as though it were nothing)...I think that is a righteous indignation! Abortion is WRONG no matter how people try and justify it. Therefore your anger toward hearing this type of talk is appropriate! Maybe your stance will help someone else to see what an awful and selfish thing abortion is. Life is valuable, precious from the moment of conception on. That must be why those of us who have experienced a loss of that life, have more respect and gratitude for it.
I hope these words have been helpful and encouraging.
Blessings and Best Wishes,
Raquel
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