 |
|
Online Guests
|
|
|
|
 |
Membership: |
 |
Latest:
Debbe R |
 |
New Today:
1 |
 |
New Yesterday:
1 |
 |
Overall:
419 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
MEND Online Forums
|
|
|
|
| You are not authorized to post a reply.
|
|
| Author |
Messages |
|
Michelle Westbrook
Member
Posts: 1
 |
| 06/22/2008 5:56 PM |
 Alert
|
Let me just start by saying it feels good to know I'm not alone.
My husband and I have had two miscarriages in the last year (exactly 6 mths apart) and not one person in my life has even asked to see how I'm doing. It's as if it's a subject that they don't want to touch. Even my husband has become a recluse.
We had our first miscarriage in May of 07. Three weeks after the miscarriage my aunt-in-law announced that she was pregnant. To say the least I was angry/sad/jealous. I knew it wasn't their fault and I had nothing against them, but it definitely hurt to hear along the way how her pregnancy was going. We had our second miscarriage in December of 07 and she had her child in January. We didn't go to the birth. The second miscarriage was definitely more painful. The first only took two days. I started cramping on a Friday and by Saturday night everything had passed. The second one lasted for over 2 weeks of cramping and sonograms, and each sonogram came back with everything looking great. A week after our second miscarriage my sister-in-law (My husbands,brothers wife) announced that they were 4 mths along.
I avoid babies like the plague. If I see one I tear up. I avoid any kind of pregnancy/baby news I can.
Every month I am wishful that we are pregnant again and yet at the same time it scares the life out of me that we might be. I don't want to go thru this again.
I feel horrible because I will not attend baby showers/birthings but I know I won't do well at them since I burst into tears even at the sight of baby clothes.
I want someone to blame, but I know there is no one to blame. I did everything that they say to do and didn't do anything (caffeine, heavy lifting) that they say not to do. My sister is lost and during her pregnancy she was still on birth control, drank, smoked, did drugs, and yet she has a beautiful little four yr old. I don't understand. I'm so tired of worrying about whether I am or not.
Please keep my husband and I in your prayers. We aren't handling this well at all and I'm not sure what to do. |
|
|
|
|
Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 256
|
| 06/22/2008 6:43 PM |
Alert
|
Michelle,
I understand your feelings. I think that people are unsure what to say after a loss, especially a miscarriage. I feel that women who have miscarriages are often forgotten because so much of society doesn't recognize a fetus as "alive". Your losses were real and you deserve the right to mourn your babies.
I have been struggling this weekend with a similar situation. Our friends delivered their little girl today. She is healthy and everything went great. I feel terrible that I wasn't 100% happy for them. It's not that I wanted anything bad to happen, but it just made what happened to me and my baby so unfair!
I think they will be good parents, but they just didn't seem as excited as I thought they should be. This was a planned pregnancy and they were happy to be pregnant, but they didn't realize how blessed they were to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery. There were no sonogram pictures on the fridge and they didn't go through a birthing class. They just didn't think it was a big deal. I wanted to scream that it IS a big deal!
I am still angry inside although I thought I was past the anger. It has been six months since Drew died, but right now it is so fresh.
I will be excited to be pregnant again. I think it will be a major step in the healing process. It will force me to deal with my fears and have faith in God. I have learned one thing: God doesn't give children to people because they deserve them.
I don't know why druggies and abusers can be "baby making factories", and good Christians are unable to have children. It's definitely on my list of questions to ask God. |
|
Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
|
|
Lisa Day
Recognized Participant
Posts: 154
|
| 07/01/2008 5:19 PM |
Alert
|
Michelle,
I am sorry! I went through great pain over how alone I felt. If you read my forums, you will see that I truly understand, as do all of us here. So, may I ask...How are you today? I want to hear how you feel and you deserve the opportunity to express yourself. For me...this has been an insane journey and I never really know what to expect next, but after 2 miscarriages myself, I am learning that life is not predictable. I wish I could give you better "words". I can't right now...but I can say...you have people praying for you here and caring how you are!
If you can take a deep breath and release yourself to "feel" and "express"...it will help!
God bless you,
Lisa |
|
|
|
|
|
| You are not authorized to post a reply. |
|
|
|
ActiveForums 3.6
|
|
|
|
The MEND Site Map is a published outline of all content on this web site.
Please review the MEND Reprint Policy and Disclaimer.
This site was last updated November 20th, 2009.
|
|