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Trinh Ho
Member
Posts: 8
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| 07/09/2008 10:22 AM |
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Hi everyone,
My name is Trinh and I recently (July 5th) lost a baby. I was 31 weeks and 4 days when I discovered at my doctor's appt. that my baby no longer had a heart beat. My doctor sent me to labor and delivery. Soon as I got there, they looked for the baby's heart beat and there was nothing. They stopped looking and told me to wait for the doctor. When the doctor came, he used the ultrasound to check for sure. There was no body movements or heart beat. Yes, this was a devastating time for me and my husband. We were in shock as my pregnancy was going fine. I felt less movements and the docs told me it was okay. In this case it was not.
Here I am just crying daily and not wanting to face reality. I dream that my son is still alive in my uterus. I only had about 60 days to go to deliver him. Reality hits me in the face daily and I am in so much pain.
Anyway, this post was to ask anyone who knows anything about trying to conceive after a stillborn. How long does one have to wait to try to conceive again?
How likely is it for another fetal demise/miscarriage?
Thanks everyone,
Trinh |
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Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 217
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| 07/09/2008 4:21 PM |
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Trinh,
I am so sorry for your loss. This is an awful reality to face and my sympathy is with you and your husband.
I was told that after a full term stillbirth (> 37 weeks) you need to wait 6mos - 1 year to conceive. You need to give your body and mind time to heal. Also, it decreases your chances of a subsequent miscarriage or stillbirth.
I think the chances of it happening again are dependent on the reason it happened in the first place. Did you get any immediate answers (like a cord accident)? You can ask your doctor these questions at your 6 wk check up.
I am praying for you because I know you are in a tremendous amount of pain and shock. Please understand that we are here for you.
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Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
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Trinh Ho
Member
Posts: 8
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| 07/10/2008 10:57 AM |
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Thank you so much for replying. I feel so lonely although my family is all here for me. There were no apparent reason for the death of my child. My pregnancy was fine and he was well formed. They wanted to do an autopsy, but it is against my will. I refused to have it. Your baby left this world in December and I am truly sad and sorry for your loss. I hope things are better for you and that you are healing well-emotionally and physically. Thanking for praying for me. I am also praying for you and everyone else who has to go through what we did.
This may seem personal, but are you thinking of trying to conceive again? And if so, how do you know for sure that you are truly ready?
-Trinh Ho |
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Sharon G
Recognized Contributor
Posts: 217
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| 07/10/2008 5:55 PM |
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We are doing IVF right now. So yes, we are definitely trying to conceive.
I don't know for sure that I am ready but I know that God is with me and will comfort me throughout this time.
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Sharon G
Mother to two angels - Drew (S/B 12-07) & Baby G (M/C 09-08) |
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Stephanie Fritts
Member
Posts: 9
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| 09/16/2008 11:44 AM |
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Trinh,
I am so sorry for your loss. I wasn't as far along as you with my losses (15 and 16weeks), but I know that the pain must be worse. The time you allow yourself before conceiving again is different for everyone. I had a miscarriage between my two living children who are 18 months apart. Our second living child was also unplanned, but she came right on the heels of a 5 week miscarriage. Although I would not have planned it that way, I was glad to be pregnant because I had something to look forward to. Not that I don't miss the child that would have been. The loss will never leave you. And yes, especially since this was your first child, you will be scared the next time you are pregnant. Now, I have lost two little boys in a row at 4 months. It's been three months since the last one passed away. I am just now realizing that if I get pregnant again, I will truly cherish everyday of my pregnancy and the life I carry inside of me for as long as God allows me that privilege. I will be scared, of course, but you have to look at each pregnancy individually and have faith.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for. I know you feel alone right now, just know that each one of us from this group knows what you are feeling. Share what you need to.
Good luck and my prayers are with you.
Stephanie |
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